Hi everyone, in the previous article we discussed abandonment issues and their types. Today we will further try to understand another unhealthy negative emotion or feeling which is a belief that others are not treating us fairly. It could also be a belief that life is not treating us fairly.
What is HURT?
The emotion I am talking about is hurt. What is hurt? Hurt is one of the most common and toxic emotions we all go through in our lives. Hurt makes our heart feel deeply unhappy and bitter. It can be said that it is linked with the emotion of depression. Hurt is also linked with the emotion of frustration and facilitates in creating an unhealthy environment. Making a person feel frustrated and hyper-sensitive to the smallest of slights. This results in feeling angry can result in yelling, silent treatment to others, being critical to self and others, and even pushing people away.
Top Triggers to Hurt
Before we discuss how to manage the emotion of hurt. Let us discover few triggers to the emotion of hurt.
Hurt created by the family and other relationships
The clients I have dealt with, mostly have unresolved and unaddressed issues with their families. They believe that their parent or sibling did not treat them fairly. Other sibling/s were given more preference. Most clients believe that their childhood was the main source of their current difficulties. Or if there is a parent, the belief that their child is treating them unfairly. Another factor of hurt is when a wife or husband feels that they are not treated fairly by their partner. Or wife feels that she is not treated fairly by her in-laws.
Hurt through Bullying
This is the most powerful trigger for hurt. Bullying can take place at any time and age. Usually, school is the common place where it takes place. A person who may have been bullied believes that they were unfairly picked upon and were not protected by their families or teachers. Or the angry of being able to fight back makes the person feels frustrated.
Hurt at Workplace
unfortunately, the workplace can be the biggest source of hurt in Pakistan. Where you feel that managers or boss is treating you unfairly in comparison to work colleagues when it comes to tasks or responsibilities, not being appreciated for work done, and so on.
Hurt caused by Abuse
This is the most destructive trigger of hurt. It revolves around the belief that you were not protected from physical, emotional, or sexual abuse by parents, older siblings, cousins, teachers, and persons in a position of power. The combination of hurt and sense of being unprotected, together with the physical and psychological effects of abuse can trigger depression.
Hurt created by Social Media
Unkind comments and trolling can be a source of hurt for many. Being targeted by a group also called social media mob. They believe that you are treated unfairly by others and they seem to enjoy your pain. This has caused young adults to commit suicide as well.
Which hurt you have experienced? Is there any experience that still triggers you? Take some time out to process those emotions. Till then wait for next article in which we will discover ways to manage the emotions of hurt.